Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Abuse is a scary topic. One of the main reasons for this is that the individual being abused might not even know it is happening. Often, the abuser will victim-blame, making the abused in the relationship think the hurt they received is there fault. Abuse is never the victim’s fault.

According to Psych Central, here are some common signs of being abused:

• Humiliating or embarrassing you.
• Constant put-downs.
• Hypercriticism.
• Refusing to communicate.
• Ignoring or excluding you.
• Extramarital affairs.
• Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.
• Unreasonable jealousy.
• Extreme moodiness.
• Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you.
• Saying “I love you but…”
• Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”
• Domination and control.
• Withdrawal of affection.
• Guilt trips.
• Making everything your fault.
• Isolating you from friends and family.
• Using money to control.
• Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her.
• Threatening to commit suicide if you leave

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline also includes:

• Tells you that you can never do anything right
• Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
• Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members
• Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs
• Controls every penny spent in the household
• Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
• Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
• Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
• Prevents you from making your own decisions
• Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children
• Prevents you from working or attending school
• Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
• Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
• Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
• Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol

If you are a victim of abuse, you may believe that leaving your situation will make it worse. You may believe that you are at fault. You may believe that nobody will understand. There are ways you can heal and receive help. There are also people who need you to help heal them.