Relationships come in all different shapes and sizes. Some last a week, some last 50 years. Many choose to not “tie the not” while others eagerly shop for a wedding dress after three months. Interestingly, research has shown that whether or not you are a cohabiting couple, married couple, or in a different kind of relationship, may determine your happiness and satisfaction in life.
Cohabiting Couples
A cohabiting couple is any couple who lives together and has sexual relationships without being married. This form of relationship has been growing the past few years. According to an article written in the New York Times by Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist, “cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the past half century.” 1,500 percent! No wonder so many people feel no rush to get married–living together is almost the new norm! According to a survey done as part of the National Marriage Project, two-thirds of young adults said that living together before marriage is a helpful way to arm against divorce. In a study done by the Council on Contemporary Families in 2014, couples who cohabited together before marriage had a 33 percent higher chance of getting divorced. Other studies show that it is the age you marry, not your decisions before marriage, that affect your relationship. One principle is clear, whether couples cohabit before marriage or have sex for the first time on their wedding day, young adults often do not understand the commitment, strength and selflessness it takes to successfully live with another person.
Married Couples
Married couples come in all shapes and sizes. I have friends who got married at 18 years old. I’ve also had friends wait until their thirties to get married. Marriage is a complex arrangement and often a serious step. It should not be taken lightly. However, is the current generation of young adults taking marriage too seriously? Are they paralyzed by the divorce statistic to even dive into marriage in the first place? I know many of my friends are. Helen Fisher, contributor to Match.com coined the phrase “fast sex, slow love” to describe the current state of relationships in today’s young adults. Interestingly, according to data gathered in the 2015 US census, the marriage age for both men and women has been increasing the past 50 years at a steady rate. The constant? The age gap between men and women. Older couples think millenials are wasting their lives without getting married, settling down, and producing grandchildren. Maybe millenials are on to something? Could waiting longer to marry decrease the likelihood of relationship abuse, divorce, or broken families?
Abusive Couples
I will be honest, I have no experience with abusive relationships. Instead of trying to make up something witty or smart to say about abusive relationships, I am going to state the facts. These can be also be found on the National Domestic Violence Hotline Website. Just to warn you, these statistics are shocking.
- 12 million men and women in the course of a year will be victims to abuse
- 3 in 10 women and 1 in 10 men have experienced partner violence
- 15% of women and 4% of men have been injured by abuse
- Females 18-34 experience the greatest amounts of abuse
- Many victims have the same offender every time.
- 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men have been raped in their lifetime
- 1 in 6 women and 1 in 19 men have experienced stalking in their lifetime
- This information was taken from the National Domestic Violence Hotline
The Relationship Toolbox 